I Will Never Be Satisfied
by impossiblegirloswald
Summary: Based on Satisfied from Hamilton. A bit of whouffle, a bit of Rose/The Doctor. AUish and the characters are mostly ooc


This is based on the song Satisfied from Hamilton, kinda. I would definitely recommend listening to it, why not go crazy and listen to the whole soundtrack while you're at it. I'll link it in case anyone who hasn't heard it wants to. I used some lines from it in this just modified slightly.

watch?v=s-XgTDiyfk0

Clara stood, staring longingly at The Doctor, her Doctor, dressed smartly in a suit, with a bow tie of course. He looked exactly like she always imagined he would, it seemed perfect. She had spent months planning for this day, making sure every little detail was just right. It almost didn't seem real now that it was here. She remembered the night it had all started.

 ***Flashback*  
**

 _Clara stood in her room, her friend Rose Tyler talking her ear off about a party later that night that they should 'totally go to'. Clara frowned, she had never enjoyed the idea of being surrounded by a sweaty mass of bodies, smelling like a bar. If it were anyone else asking she would have made up a number of excuses by now, but Rose was her closest friend. She sounded so excited about going Clara couldn't bear to say no to her, she would do anything to make her happy._

 _Later that evening, Clara walked through the cold, winter air to Rose's flat. They had arranged to meet there to get ready before heading out to the party. Clara was still sceptical about going and would still rather stay in the warmth and watch some movies. Upon reaching the flat she knocked loudly on the door. Only a second went by before the door swung open and she was whirled inside by Rose before she could even process properly what was happening. Rose was bouncing non-stop whilst they were getting ready, Clara couldn't help but smile at how happy she looked. She had begun to realise, her happiness was what she cared about the most._

 _They reached the hall the party was being held at and Rose immediately headed towards the dance floor to have a good time. Clara was hesitant at first until people were coming up to her, talking, dancing. She started enjoying herself more and more. She noticed someone walking towards before they were ushered away by a handsome young man. His eyes were intelligent, older than the rest of him seemed. Clara wondered, for a moment, why they looked so much older than the rest of him. He came up to her, grabbing her hand and swiftly placing a gentle kiss on her knuckles. How charming._

 _'You look to me as someone who has never been truly satisfied' he spoke to her. Clara tilted her head, completely confounded, 'What's that supposed to mean' she questioned, her tone hardening. 'You're like me' he spoke again, ignoring her question 'I'm never satisfied. I have never once been satisfied. I long for more, and every time I get it, still there is something missing.' Clara began to understand, if that's what he meant, then he had been right. She had never been satisfied. 'My name's Clara. Clara Oswald.' she informed him. 'I'm The Doctor' he responded, a slight smirk creeping onto his face. He had confused her again, 'Doctor Who?' she asked. 'Just The Doctor' he replied before wondering off to a group of men._

 _He left Clara standing there, completely dumbstruck by his words. She understood him perfectly, everything they said the other agreed on. They matched in every way. They hadn't spoke for long but she felt like she had known him for a long time. Granted, he was a bit of a flirt, she was sure he was like that with everyone. Why not give it a chance, though? She had argued for a moment about whether to fully trust him before deciding that she would give him a chance._

 _She was pulled out of her thoughts when Rose frantically pulled her aside. 'Oh Clara, look at him. Look at his eyes. I want to get to know him. Doesn't he just seem so perfect?' She ranted at Clara for a minute before she finally managed to interrupt her. 'Rose, who are you talking about?' she laughed. Rose subtly pointed towards a group, towards The Doctor. Clara wanted to say something but she realised how helpless Rose sounded. How helpless she looked. Clara smiled at her before manoeuvring through the crowd of people towards him. She grabbed his arm and began talking to him again. He had smiled at her until she began leading him across the room. 'Where are we going?' he had asked her in a hushed voice. 'You'll see, maybe your life will change' she laughed._

 _She pulled him to a halt right in front of Rose, smiling at her best friend. Rose looked nervously at her before introducing herself to him, 'Rose Tyler, it's wonderful to meet you.' He kissed her hand, the same way he had kissed Clara's, she hadn't been the only one then she thought. He began flirting with her and Clara couldn't stand to hear them anymore. She valued Rose's happiness more than her own, as long as she was happy Clara would be happy. 'I'l leave you two alone', she announced before winking at Rose and walking away into the crowd._

 **~1 month later~**

 _Clara and Rose sat across from each other in a small cafe, their favourite place to meet. Rose had not stopped talking about the Doctor since they'd arrived. Clara loved seeing her so happy but it hurt Clara knowing that she had lost the most interesting man she had ever met. She knew that if she told Rose she loved him she would back off, tell her that everything was fine. She could have the Doctor but Rose would be broken. There was no way she would ever let that happen. Still, she thought about him all the time, she couldn't help herself. His striking eyes consumed her dreams, the way he spoke flooded her brain. As much as she loved Rose, she couldn't help herself from fantasising about what might have been if she hadn't sized him up so quickly. He had been right about her never being satisfied. She couldn't even stop her brain from thinking too much into everything he had said._

 **~End of flashback~**

Clara couldn't help herself from remembering that night. All the mistakes she made. She had forced a smile all day, even though it was tearing her up inside. She heard an exchange of 'I Do's' in the distance before cheering erupted from the guests. At least my sweet Rose is his wife, she thought to reassure herself, at least I keep his eyes in my life.

She sat at the table fidgeting, waiting to make a speech. 'Now give it up for the maid of honour' Rory, the best man, announced. 'To the groom. To the bride.' people chanted after her as she spoke ending her speech. Everyone raising a glass to the happy couple. As much as it hurt Clara, she knew Rose would be happy as his bride. However, she also knew that The Doctor would never be satisfied.

 _ **Clara would never be satisfied.**_


End file.
